When I think of my history, who I am, what my culture and identity mean to me, I think of the many people, past and present, who have shaped the way I see myself today. I've spent so much of my life searching for who I am. Trying to figure out my place in this world. I've spent so much time conforming, assimilating, covering, and hiding.
I've chased the American dream and hoped for the white picket fence. I attempted to follow all the rules, then rebelled against them simultaneously.
This constant reaching has left me broken far too many times, as I try to fit into this world and do all the things that I was taught would lead to success and accolades, and economic security. I've done all of this to reach certain heights and even as I started to check the boxes, it still didn't feel like it was enough.
Now, I am stepping into what I call "knowing." You might call it an epiphany, an awakening, or awareness. I call it "knowing" which means we already know who we are. We've always known who we are, but we often fight against it, we fight battles both seen and unseen, but we know there is more out there for us. Something that we should do. I truly believe that this battle between what we know and what the world has told us is what leaves us with that broken disconnect that keeps us stuck and at times feeling hopeless.
And I take no credit for this knowing. What if I told you the foundation was laid for us long ago? All you need to do is intentionally tap into it. I have done that by choosing to intentionally honor all of the Firsts that came before me and are still happening today. The 1st Black judges, scientists, teachers, coaches, advocates, and activists, presidents, and vice presidents. I don't want to ever forget to acknowledge and study, not only those that came before me but those that are standing next to me. My knowing comes from seeing power demonstrated time and time again. Not only that, I want to make sure that I remember that all I do is preparation for those who will come after me. Your purpose has to be tied to something. It has to be bigger than you.
That is how you stop the hamster wheel of uncertainty and start to tap into your purpose. Your "knowing." What is calling you that you (up until now I pray) have been afraid to answer?
My forefathers and mothers did it. The courage of my ancestors did it. We have survived this long because of THEM and it is this knowledge that allows me to boldly step into this knowing unapologetically and humbly.. I know the power that I've inherited and that is why I am determined to continue the work of racial justice and equity, creating opportunity, and offering space to heal from all the things that have broken us.
There is so much healing to do. We struggle with our "knowing" because it is tied to many wounds of oppression, racism, trauma, and hatred. The byproduct of what happened before us has caused damage to our communities. To our world. I acknowledge that some people are so damaged that they don't even see, feel or recognize their power. They are stuck in a cycle of pain, battling both the world and themselves.
My responsibility is to teach, educate, inspire and empower people to learn and then own their "knowing."
Sojourner Truth boldly said that she didn't need permission to leave her master, she did not run away. She walked away during the daylight. She didn't cower at night, she didn't hide in the shadows. She said enough. What she said is that we don't have to hold onto anything, anyone, any belief that is no longer building us up. Any system that was built to destroy, we ALL have a responsibility to tear down.
As I think of our ancestors and those that have come before me, the demonstration of strength, love and sacrifices is what I will intentionally honor.
As you reflect this month and beyond, will you answer your call? Will you lean into your fear and start doing the work you've been called to do? It's time and so many are depending on you. You already KNOW what to do, trust yourself.