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  • Writer's pictureCoach Candi

Life Isn't Meant to Be a Struggle

I read often. Most of the time, it is an escape, I'll read exciting books based on Jerry Springer type scenarios and get lost in the silliness and drama that doesn't happen in my own world. I'm grateful that my life is fairly boring, however, that doesn't mean I don't mind living vicariously through some mess that is someone else's life, real or imagined. I also read books that stimulate me. Books that encourage me to think different, be different, grow.


It is in those moments when I'm deeply reflective that I typically write a thought that comes to mind that I want to share with all of you. In fact, in this moment, I read a line that said something like, "There is a part of human nature that would rather remain hopeless than take the risk of new life." The line was referencing the concept of change and disruption and corporate structures regarding diversity and inclusion. (I'll save that for another blog) but I do want to focus on WHY is it so hard for us to change?


Why do we refuse to do the things that we know would improve our lives? Make better decisions? Why do we insist upon doing things hard when we know our lives would be so much better if we only would do that one thing. Is it true that we are intrigued by drama? A part of us likes the struggle? Prefers it, even?


Are we conditioned to believe that life is a struggle? How many times have you said things like, "that's life," or "it is what it is." How many times has something really good happened in your life and you can't even enjoy it because you are waiting for the ball to drop. You don't even believe that you deserve the good things in life.


Let me tell you one of the ways this constant thought of "the struggle" shows up in my own life. There are times when I have money coming, guaranteed for an event or I have already been compensated for something and I will still check and double-check my account about a 100 times to make sure the money is there or check and recheck the status to ensure it is still coming when I know it is. I recognize that not being content with what is for me, stems from my financial trauma in my life when poor decisions led to some mess and some stress that I know I created. So I can't just accept a financial blessing without fearing it will be taken from me. Even when it is earned. Even though I deserve it. Make sense?


Can you think of times when you do this to yourself?


So here is what we are going to do, together.


Just for the moment, today, for the upcoming week if you can muster it, let's do this:


  • I would like you to stop letting negative thoughts and expectations be an automatic response and reaction in your mind and in your heart.

  • I would like you to believe that you deserve better and when good things happen to you, BELIEVE, without a doubt, that you deserve it. Don't give in to that negative programming that won't allow you to be in that wonderful moment. You deserve that moment. Live in it.

  • If you were raised in the struggle, whatever that struggle is, tell yourself right now that it doesn't have to always be this way. Sure, the struggle is what created you, but the struggle doesn't have to be all that you are. You can be different. Right now. You can live a life of laughter, of fun, and relaxation. That isn't to say that every day will be carefree, but how wonderful would it be to smile more, laugh more and see more beauty in your life than pain. To really believe that trouble doesn't last always.

Together, let's stop saying things like, "it's always something" or "when it rains it pours" and let's replace that thinking with, "this is a moment in time." and "my better is here."


We have the power to reclaim ourselves and walk in the truth that we DESERVE to live a life of joy.



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lbriggspena
13 sept 2020

I think we are 'programmed to accept things for what they are. We accept the negative and choose how to deal with it. Hopefully this acceptance leads to Preventative, Prosperous and Purposeful Change but when it doesn't we revert because like you said it is where are most comfortable. I am here now. No matter how many people I have asked for help in moving my life forward or just deciding to ask for help, for whatever reason, there is no progress. I am guilty of getting frustrated and putting on my virtual and spiritual 'F IT' shirt. It is what it is. I am horrible at turning a negative a positive. It usually breaks me first but that i…

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