There are moments in my life where I feel a strong sense of déjà vu . I just feel like I've been in that space/place before. I had felt that pain, experienced that let down. I had made that mistake. There are moments, some recently, where I felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment because in that moment I felt I had allowed an experience to happen again. I tell myself, as a coach, a support system for so many, I should know better. I should do better. I am angry with myself and for a moment, I convince myself that I am ill equipped and unqualified to do this work of healing if I can't even figure out what that looks like for me.
So much about my world, who I am, I embrace. I love. Many things about my past, current relationships and spiritual health has been a struggle. The process of getting real about what no longer matches my energy, deserves space in my heart or time in my thoughts has been difficult. Forcing myself to end relationships I wanted to hold on to, changing habits that no longer serve me, embracing truths about who I am and how I am going to really show up in this life has been a challenge. Knowing that some may not get it, want to get it support it or understand it forced me to grieve the losses before they've even begun. The reality is, this process of healing is ongoing. There will never be a time when you aren't growing, learning, evolving, becoming. The key for me is to embrace all of it. Every part of my existence that is a challenge, every part of my being that I am gifted with and let all of it ring true in this work. I don't need to be perfect to be focused. I don't need it to have it all figured out to tell the story. All I need to do is trust myself, my heart ..and move forward with courage and the capacity to love and heal over and over again. No matter how long it takes which I know will take an entire life time.
I've decided that is okay. Because with every experience a stronger me emerges and in that strength comes my ability to heal others authentically. I know what I'm talking about. :)
So heal today, tomorrow and the next day and keep evolving. The process is necessary, the you that emerges will always be beautiful. Trust me on this one.